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Assertive Communication

Writer's picture: lavender Psychotherapylavender Psychotherapy

Updated: Jun 5, 2024


Assertive Communication

Effective communication is essential in all aspects of our lives. However, many people find it difficult to communicate assertively, either avoiding conversations altogether or becoming reactive towards others. Being an assertive communicator is a valuable skill that can help you to express yourself effectively while also maintaining healthy relationships. Here are some tips on how to be an assertive communicator.


Know what you want to say


1. Before starting a conversation, take some time to clarify your thoughts and identify what you want to say. This will help you to avoid confusion and ensure that you communicate your message clearly.


Use "I" statements


2. Using "I" statements allows you to express your feelings and thoughts without blaming or accusing the other person. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," say, "I feel ignored when I don't feel heard."


Practice active listening


3. Communication is not just about speaking but also listening. Practice active listening by paying attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and acknowledging their feelings.


Set clear boundaries


4. Be clear about your boundaries and communicate them assertively. Let others know what behaviors are acceptable and what is not, and be firm in enforcing them.


Practice self-care


5. Assertive communication can be challenging, and it is essential to practice self-care. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, and eating healthily, as this will help you to manage stress and stay calm during difficult conversations.


By practicing these tips, you can become an assertive communicator and ensure your points are coming across in a healthy way. If you’d like to talk more about assertive communication and steps to ensure you’re communicating effectively, book a session with one of our psychotherapists!




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Lavender Psychotherapy acknowledges that it provides services on/in the traditional territory of Anishinaabeg, Haudenosaunee, Attiwonderonk, and Mississaugas of the Credit First Nation peoples. This territory is covered by Treaty 3 3/4 and Brant Track Treaty 8.​

Today, this space is still home to many Indigenous people from across Turtle Island and we are grateful to have the opportunity to work, live, and play on this land.

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